I dreamt I was in some kind of wizard race? It was… a really strange dream.

facts-i-just-made-up:

Scenes from L.A.’s growing magician problem.
7-7-14, Los Angeles. New graffiti was found at L.A.’s George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city.  Said L.A. Police Commissioner Crowley, “They say the chalk washes away but that’s not the problem here.  The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don’t always know what they’re doing.  They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael.”
Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment.  We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, “Where am I?  Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!”
Troubling words indeed.

facts-i-just-made-up:

Scenes from L.A.’s growing magician problem.

7-7-14, Los Angeles. New graffiti was found at L.A.’s George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city.  Said L.A. Police Commissioner Crowley, “They say the chalk washes away but that’s not the problem here.  The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don’t always know what they’re doing.  They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael.”

Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment.  We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, “Where am I?  Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!”

Troubling words indeed.

(via kelpiescout)

bisexual-books:

It’s time for another Bisexual Books giveaway!  Bisexual YA author Corinne Duyvis was generous enough to send us some swag from her US tour and we’re happy to pass it along to you guys!  

You could win all the fantastic goodies pictured above:

Now all the boring rules stuff:

  • This giveaway is open to everyone (yes international friends this includes you).  
  • You must be following us here at bisexual-books to win
  • You must reblog this post (likes don’t count for this one sorry guys).   
  • You can reblog as many times as you’d like
  • But no giveaway blogs  
  • Winners will be chosen August 10th at 8pm CST

And don’t forget to enter our other two awesome giveaways — one for bisexual comics and the other for romance!

(via racebending)

i’ve determined that at least 50% of my hesitance to clean the apartment is due to the fact that i have to actually put clothes on to do so

octoberwaffle:

kyrosion:

kyrosion:

Well I spent the last hour practicing my best straw feminist on Facebook; that was fun! Now, to the Night Market!

The Night Market was fun! We went for like an hour and a half, listened to some dude singing really loudly, bought some scarves (I got one with mooses on it! Moosescarf!), and ate some fish-shaped waffles with various delicious fillings.

#FISH FOOD IS BEST FOOD WHEN IT’S NOT SEAFOOD

Yeah! I had one of those last week! It was also delicious.

Other fish foods include: Swedish fish, chocolate fish, Goldfish, and gummie sharks. Probably there are some that I’m forgetting, but I’m sure those are, likewise, best.

kyrosion:

Well I spent the last hour practicing my best straw feminist on Facebook; that was fun! Now, to the Night Market!

The Night Market was fun! We went for like an hour and a half, listened to some dude singing really loudly, bought some scarves (I got one with mooses on it! Moosescarf!), and ate some fish-shaped waffles with various delicious fillings.

Well I spent the last hour practicing my best straw feminist on Facebook; that was fun! Now, to the Night Market!

the-goddamazon:

50 Shades of Abuse.

50 Shades of Nonconsensual Sex.

50 Shades of Nah.

50 Shades of Trash Writing.

50 Shades of How the Fuck Did She Get Her Twilight Fanfiction PUBLISHED.

50 Shades of Why Is This Bitch Prospering But Us Real Writers Are Getting Passed Over.

50 Shades of No True Scotsman.

50 Shades of maybe her success doesn’t detract from your chances of the same.

50 Shades of don’t throw other women under the bus to get yours.

50 Shades of calling women bitches is neither productive nor welcome.

50 Shades of it’s not my cup of tea either but really?

50 Shades of there are a lot of problems with those books but this was not a productive critique of them.

(via thejrush)

ugh my parents are waxing on about how much they love atlas shrugged

hmm it is that point in the day where usually i am all “UGH I’M HUNGRY BUT NOTHING SOUNDS GOOD”

but TODAY i have leftover hot dogs and a can of baked beans so it’s time for BEANIE WEENIES, HELL YEAH